BALANCE and how dogs use behavior to AFFECT our emotions
Today I want to talk to you about how dogs use their behavior to change our mood and emotions. How they try to get their family to be balanced and stress free with simply weighing out our imbalance. This blog is intended for all dog owners and dog lovers to better understand dogs, behavior and emotions.
This video is a good visual example. It´s from my home and this is Floki, Golden Retriever, 6 years old. He loved his family more than anything and we loved him dearly. I believe he was an angel in disguise, he did magic with my kids.
We had some basic rules around the house like he was not allowed on the sofa. Just seconds before this video was recorded the babies were fighting and being loud, he was like always laying on the floor by their footrest. With his tranquil manner Floki lifted himself on to the couch, almost like a snake putting his head and chest towards the girls, once he reached over them he calmly laid his heavy head on top of the older one. She was the one who started the argument by teasing the younger one. Flokis feet are still on the ground, it´s as if he made his body longer to reach them without braking any of the rules I´ve set for him in the house. Within seconds the house was quiet again and everybody calm.
Dogs don´t like excitement. If their groups feelings and emotions are balanced they are happy, tranquil and safe. Emotions are like a lifeline it should be flat in the middle, all excitement whether it´s crying or arguing (pulling the line down) - or happy excited emotions (pulling the line upwards) and according to dogs putting us in an imbalance.
It´s their instinct that the group needs to be in balance to cope with any sudden situation we come across in life. A balanced person (and a balanced dog) is more successful in life, more likely to make the right decisions and better able to solve different problems. Dog´s are closer to nature than we are, it´s a part of their coping skills, their surviving skills. A balanced dog will hear danger sooner than an imbalanced one, it will also recognize pray earlier than the preoccupied one. The group in general also has lower stress hormones and there for is more healthier than an imbalanced pack.
So dogs instantly try to pull us towards the middle again, balance us out. An unhappy person can get hugs a and kisses from his dog to cheer him/her up or the dog could bring a toy/his leash and wiggle that happy tail to make you laugh. Pulling you up and away from whats holding your mood down. Happy, laughing, teasing, hysterical laughs are often met by super calm dogs, trying to slow things down, walking in front of a running person or trying to crawl up or lay down on her if that´s - anything to weigh her down.
This brings me to another common question, why is my dog humping?
Young dogs who don´t know how to express their feelings and take control of the situation but feel an urge to do so, very often start humping someone. It´s their inability to understand the stress they are experiencing and lack of experience or know how how to deal with it. So commonly you´ll have two puppies play fighting and the third one trying to hump them. Or an exciting play between kids and dog that ends up with the dog humping the kids. Not all dogs can get the chance learn to deal with these emotions, simply because we the humans are not as good at teaching them as dogs are. This is why some adult dogs are still showing this behavior once overexcited or stressed out, not knowing how to deal with their emotions and calm them selves down.
Siblings playing, both highly stressed and excited but happy
How can you use this knowledge to your advantage?
If your dog is imbalanced barking and screaming at the top of his lungs, you should not join in on it by scolding him. Think of ways to calm him down.
If your dog is afraid, hurt or feeling ill, think of ways to cheer him up and help him through it.
If your dog is humping someone, invite him to interact in a calm play or even offer a quiet session with something to chew - anything that teaches him to stop it and calm him self down.
Now remember we never want to add to the dogs distress by meeting a low feeling with a very “high pitched, over the roof” excitement. We want to balance him but not pull him to the other side of discomfort. We start happily but low keyed and lure him in the play and the happy emotions with us. We are pulling him to the center line of emotions, where there´s balance. Where we all are the strongest.
Same goes for anything you need to do to/ or with the dog and might put stress on him (nail trimming, ear cleansing, wound cleaning) - if you have taught him to use the balancing technique to lower stress levels and you are calm he´ll understand that there is not a reason for him to be stressed.
In this situation I recommend being firm and straight forward, calm and with out any fumbling. Give a treat and a low keyed praise in between and let him pick up in your comfort level.
Dog´s feed on our emotions but unlike people, dog´s don´t suck our energy out, they repay us by nurturing us with theirs. It´s always a win-win relationship if you put the effort in and understand his behavior, needs and feelings.
Siblings still playing but trying to calm each other down at the same time
Now go home and watch your dog, recognize his behavior and see if you can see him expressing his emotions. If he´s not showing any, test it and see his reactions.
Enjoy working with your dog through life, for a better relationship.